Speakers to modem

OK, there was an old lady telling me that she had the speakers connected to the modem.
And she thought her PC should not start slow because "I don't have dial-up anymore"

And then she said "Oh, so this thing I've been calling modem all this time is what you call
the tower?"

Some people shouldn't be allowed to own computers.

Story #2

Average customer:
Hello. I'm calling because my computer cannot blah blah blah.
Agent:
OK, let's open this, and lets open that... blah blah blah... and now let's close all of the windows.
Average customer:
Um, wait a second, be right back.
(this is something usual as customers don't care if they are wasting OUR time)
Agent:
OK, no problem.

(background noise... like "SLAM... SLAM!" coming from the customer's place)

Average customer:
Alright, I closed all of my windows now what?

Story #1

This happened the other day.
You should imagine the customer's
voice being like American Dad's Stan

Customer's email was something like
FREAK FOR FITNESS @ something dot com

Agent: How can I help you?
Customer: Well, I was playing around with the computer, and... uh... I accidentally deleted the little "e" from the desktop to connect to the internet. HAHA!
Agent: Okay, I can help you but since your PC is out of warranty, I would have to charge you in order to assist you. It would cost 50 dollars.
Customer: Well, if that's what I have to do... my credit card number is blah blah blah...
Agent: OK, so you told me you accidentally erased your internet explorer shortcut from the desktop.
Customer: YEAH, HAHA!
Agent: Alright, lets go to the Start menu...
Customer: Wait a second. I'm eatin' a sandwich, HAHA! OK, go ahead...
Agent: OK, lets go to the start menu, then My Computer, C drive, Program Files, Internet Explorer...
Customer: Oh, I see the little "e" there!
Agent: Great! Let's do a right click on that little e, and choose send to desktop as shortcut. Then, go back to the desktop and let me know if you see it there.
Customer: Yeah! It works! Thank you so much!

Who am I?

Hello. Call me Mr. X.
I work in a call center for a computer company.
Since I have to respect some privacy policies I will not provide
too much details.
I can tell you that we're located in Argentina.
I started working in 2007, and I have
loads of real conversations that I had, or maybe someone
else had.

Enjoy.

If you work in a call center as well and you
want to publish your stories, feel free to send me
those to my email address!

callcenterstories gmail dot com

Cheers.